PSO Short stories
by mr.rubbish
Summary: A Collection of 10 short PSO based stories
1. First Contact

**First Contact**

  
  
The small dropship juddered slightly as it began to enter the atmosphere. The FOnewearl looked around at the other occupants of the cramped confines. The safety harness around her shoulders restricted head movement too but in the dim red light she could see most of their faces. The whole spectrum of human emotion on display, from joy to fear. The shaking became slightly worse so she closed her eyes till the feeling of nausea subsided somewhat.  
  
Major Cortana picked his way carefully down the narrow gap between the seated soldiers, making his way using the rope handholds to steady himself again the erratic movent of the ship. He addressed them in a loud and authorative voice over the roar of the engines.  
  
"Listen up people! As you are all well aware, approximately twenty-two Beats ago an explosion rocked the Central Dome interrupting the communication beam proceedure. There is a total news blackout but I can tell you this. So far there has been _no_ communication with anyone on Ragol at all. Scans from Pioneer Two show that electrical systems seem to be still functional and that damage to the area is minimal compared to the size of the explosion witnesssed, but have been unable to detect life signs because of the atmospheric interference."  
  
He let those words sink in for a fraction of a Beat before continuing.  
  
"Due to the presence of a high concentration of unusual photons, we are going in by dropship instead of risking the transporter system. As part of Operation: Gran Squall our primary objective is to make contact with any survivors of the explosion. Our secondary objective is to re-enable an uplink signal with Pioneer Two. We have onboard an emergency transmitter should the main tower be inoperational."  
  
Cortana slowly turned himself around to face the FOnewearl.  
  
"As you no doubt have noticed we also have on board a civilian." He indicated to her with a wave of his hand. "Erica Fion will be acting as a support FOrce and during the mission will carry rank of corporal. Some of you have worked with her before so you knoiw what to expect."  
  
Erica smiled weakly around the room.  
  
"This is a search and rescue mission folks... If we encounter hostile forces you are not to engage if possible. I repeat _do not engage...._"  
  
He was interrupted by the progressively stronger shaking of the ship. Audible creaking of metal under great stress could be heard from behind them.  
  
"There's a build-up of photon energy out there causing the turbulence!" Shouted the pilot over his shoulder into the cabin behind. "It's messing with the ion thrusters... But don't worry... It's nothing I can't handle!"  
  



	2. Final Stand

Final Stand

  
  
I feel fear. I know the end is close. Trapped in this unholy place, I fight but my strength is deserting me. The enemy, relentless, cold, calculating. They start to surround me, they sense victory is close, I see nothing but death in their lifeless eyes. I fall to one knee but rise once more. I must not show them weakness even till the very end. My armour stained with blood, not all of it mine. My sword grows heavy in my hand. I have killed many of their number only to watch as many more step over the corpses of the fallen, they come with a speed and ferocity inconceivable to the human mind. My sight grows dim. They close in for the kill. My computer flashes. At last I have a name for my nightmare. I whisper it through gritted teeth. Booma. 


	3. The Adventures of Pal Rappy

After reading 'IDOLA' Have the Immortal Feather by Garanz2, I was given an idea for a short story.   
(Located at: PSOWorld (Stupid text parser won't let me add the URL here! :( ))  
  
More specifically this is based on the section in chapter 2 where Pal Rappy encounters Barrage (a RAcast). This alternate version was a perspective experiment.   
  


* * *

  
  
The Pal Rappy made its way through the forest. As it got closer to its destination, the Central Dome, the vegetation began to thin out, open spaces more and more frequent. The lack of cover made Pal nervous, darting from bush to bush, always on the lookout for danger.   
  
The Rappy stopped when a glint caught its eye from the middle of a clearing. Its natural curious urges drawing it out. It took small cautious steps, keeping its body as low as possible.   
  
_ Shiny rock? Black shiny rock?_   
  
The gentle breeze wafted over the scent of oil and burnt-out electronics. It was a smell that the rappies had become painfully familiar with and even now Pal began to feel slightly ill. Close enough, Pal gave it a careful peck. A metallic sound rang out and the alarmed rappy jumped backwards a short distance.   
  
_ NotRock!_ (The rappies lacked a word for metal).   
  
Still keeping low, Pal circled the remains and within a few moments had realised what it was that it had found.   
  
_ NotWolfNotBooma! NotWolfNotBooma dead?_   
  
(In Rappy '_Wolf_' is used commonly to signify predators. Any other quadrapedal predator is therefore a '_NotWolf_'. A '_NotBooma_' is a bipedal or humanoid creature. Through the very tragic interactions with the hunters of Pioneer One Humans, Newmen and Androids are now collectively referred to as '_NotWolfNotBoomas_' which is the closest Rappy word to 'two-legged predator').   
  
From the damage on the android and the disturbance of the earth around it, Pal deduced that Boomas had been responsible. There was nothing more here of interest so Pal made to leave. A burst of sound emitted from the android's speaker.   
  
"D.n'T t..cH tH.t..."   
  
The shocked Pal spun round at the sound and instinctively adopted a defensive stance, head low, tail raised and wings spread out pointing towards the ground.   
  
_ Kill! Kill!_ Hissed the Rappy in its most fearsome voice.   
  
But the '_NotWolfNotBoomba_' did not move. Instead it made a faint clicking sound.   
  
"m. vOi.e sy.Te.ms a.E da.Ma..d..." It said again.   
  
_ NotWolfNotBoomba sleep. NotWolfNotBoomba trick Rappy!_   
  
"_yOU seE rEd woRm?_"   
  
Pal cocked its head to one side. Had the _NotWolfNotBoomba_ eaten a Rappy?   
  
"_Hello HiddenRappy!_ ('_HiddenRappy_ is a term used when talking to a strange Rappy that is not visible).   
  
"_YoU sEe REd WoRm?_" The android asked once more.   
  
Pal approached hestitantly, before spotting the '_red worm_' brightly contrasting the short grass.   
  
"_Yes_" Replied the Rappy.   
  
"_puT Red woRM in bLUe HolE_"   
  
If the Rappy had shoulders it would have shrugged them at this point. Perhaps the '_HiddenRappy_' was hungry even though the '_red worm_' did not seem particularly appetising. Picking up the '_red worm_' with its beak, it carefully pushed the end into appropriate hole.   
  
Following a short pause, one of the android's arms began to move. Swivelling around it began to plug various bit into other bits. The other arm emerged into view, in its hand it still gripped tightly to a bazooka. Pal panicked.   
  
_ NotWolfNotBoomba trick Rappy! NotWolfNotBoomba has claws!_   
  
With that, Pal did what Rappies do best... Run. It did not care in which direction as long as it was away from here. 


	4. After the Party

**

After the Party...

**  
  
_A Sinow Berrill reminisces the morning after the party...._  
  
This was supposed to be an epilogue for a character from the 'Halloween Vaction' group-fiction on PSOWorld but that thread was locked before I could post it. I posted it in the 'Welcome To Ragol' group-fiction thread but how many people read that eh?  
  
--- Version 1.1 ---  
  
Fred looked across the sand at the slowly collapsing sand-building some distance away. The slowly brighting sky illuminating the derelict building as the few remaining stragglers stumbled bleary-eyed into the open. Here and there small sections of wall lost integrity and disentegrated in small puffs of dust. A testament to its constructors that it lasted as long as it did.  
  
Fred delicately peeled off the RAcast 'costume' taped to his exterior and dicarded it on the ground before him. Not so much a costume as the armour plating removed from a destroyed RAcast intruder. It had felt 'weird' to be wearing another robot's 'skin' but imagination was not a design consideration when he was created and he needed something quickly in order to move about unnoticed. He touched a tiny panel on his chest and it opened to reveal the reason he was there... an emotion chip.  
  
The chip had been recovered from a different android some time ago. Even now he was unsure as to why he had kept it. He knew full well what it was and its function too. Perhaps as a spare? Plugging it in would be the very antithesis of his programming but he had done that too. For a time it had been hard, having to hide his new abilities from the other Sinows, always fearful of deactivation should his deception be uncovered.  
  
It had been fun to mix with humans, newmans and androids and be treated as an equal instead of an enemy. Indeed, when one costume came to life, literally transforming its wearer into a Delsaber, he had fought along side those people. It had given him a feeling of exhiliration, a sense he belonged and was accepted even if he suspected that by the end some of them might have known the truth.  
  
Fred knew that it was only the fortuitous event of Halloween that had allowed him to make this deception, he would never be accepted for long and so there was only one course of action available to him. A life without choices was no life at all, ironic then that he had no choice. He pulled out the chip and stared at it for what seemed an eternity. Fred's eye-lights changed from a deep blue to a much lighter shade and in one swift motion he crushed the chip.  
  
Crouching slightly Fred activated his optical camouflage and proceeded back in the direction of the Central Control Area. There were routes to patrol and intruders to repel.  
  
Within a few minutes the lapping waves had faded his footprints to nothing as if he had never been there...   
  



	5. Return of the Shadow King

Barton approached the main transporter only to see the glowing energy rings formed by the pad slowly fade and then stop altogether. He came to a complete halt and watched as the lighting in the main transporter room switched off.   
  
"What the Heck? Did you see that?" He mentioned to one of his team-mates.   
  
They did not reply.   
  
"I SAID did you..." The words died in his mouth.   
  
He had turned around to address them directly only to discover that they had vanished without a trace. In fact the entire promenade was now empty of everyone except him.   
  
A chill passed down his spine. There were people around here just a few seconds ago, maybe thirty or more and now they had disappeared?   
  
"Is this some kind of joke?" He said aloud, the impatience in his voice was clear.   
  
He was starting to get nervous and walked back in the direction of of the item storage desk, which was also abandoned.   
  
*Shunk*   
  
He jumped, startled at the sound. Above him he could see that the lights above had switched off, as had the neon signs for the hospital and the exit leading to the city.   
  
Was someone turning off the lights? The Guild never closed.   
  
"Hello? I'm still here!" He shouted out, almost unable to disguise the fear in his voice now.   
  
Glancing to his left he could see the lights for the distant buildings were turning off in sequence. It was like the darkness was spreading towards him.   
  
He began to step back, some primal instinct deep inside told him that a very bad thing was coming. The lights for the promenade now continued to turn off matching the spread of those buildings nearest to the Guild.   
  
He almost had a heart attack when the check-in desk bumped him from behind. He moved to his right into the shopping enclosure, again devoid of signs of life. As the automatic doors shut together he could see that all the lights outside had gone.   
  
He leaned up against one of the desks, eyes frantically scanning the door incase it opened. The lights went out suddenly here too, leaving him with the dull coloured glow from the monitors and wall displays.   
  
He began to breath hard, like he was hyperventillating. He knew what would come next.   
  
The remaining lights in the room extinguished leaving him in total darkness, the afterglow image of the room burned on his retina briefly before fading to black.   
  
He waited, his heavy, laboured breathing was all that filled his ears... Until he heard the sound of the doors opening to let it in....... 


	6. Rise of the Machines : Alt Ending

This short story is an alternate ending for the Group-Fiction 'Rise of the Machines' as posted on PSOWorld. In that, Androids start to malfunction shortly after the Ruins are discovered. This ending is what would have happened if the Heroes had failed to save the day....  
____________________________________________________________________   
**

  
Rise of the Machines : Alternate Ending

**  
  
"Hi! My name's Lua! I'm continuing my mother's log for you since I've got a bit of time on my hands. My mother says that it's important that we record things just incase. Erm... I never like the way my mother says that sort of thing. It makes her sad. This place makes her sad but we don't much choice on where to live."   
  
"My mother tells me that before the crash they discovered a place on this planet called 'the ruins'. My father visited a couple of times but he didn't like to talk about it. I once heard him and mother talk about it once, it sounded like a very scary place. But my father is a brave... Was a brave Hunter. I'm a Hunter too! A FOmarl I think... Well I'm not really a Hunter yet, I haven't passed the Force entrance exam yet and I don't know any Techniques but I've been studying REAL hard. And when Pioneer Three comes I'll be ready to be a Hunter."   
  
"Erm... Where was I? Oh! Oh yeah! 'The ruins'!. They found something down there that made the androids act crazy, you know, hurt people and stuff. My mother said that a monster called Falz lived in 'the ruins' and was making all the androids bad. The best Hunters went to 'the ruins' to fight Falz, but I guess they lost 'cause the androids were still bad."   
  
"On the ship, the androids made a power station blow up. The army sealed off the Hunter's Guild somehow so only the Hunter's air was sucked out. In school they taught us that when that happens everybody dies..."   
  
"But the androids didn't die. The walked on the outside of the ship and damaged the engines so that the ship would crash. I remember that day. People were screaming and running around. Lots of people got hurt. We got into an escape pod and landed on the planet. I think lots of people also escaped but I haven't seen many."   
  
"My mother says that we have to wait a few years before Pioneer Three comes to save us, but my father taught my mother some stuff so she's been going out to find food for us... Only.... She's been gone for two days now and she's never gone for that long. I'm kinda getting scared.... Oh! But don't tell her I'm scared! I don't want her to worry. It's the androids you see. They didn't die. Some people who came here and left a while ago told us that the androids aren't killing people, they're bring them to _HIM_. That sounds horrible."   
  
"Wait... I think I hear a noise... Oh I think my mother is home! I have to go now. I'll finish this later, as long as my mother lets me I guess..."   
  
*Sound of recorder falling to the floor*   
  
"Oops! I hope it isn't broken or she going to kill me! Wait... The light's still flashing... Where's the off button? Is it this o... *CLICK*"  



	7. Tales From Pioneer City: Part 1

This short is an edited version I submitted to the 'City Of Heroes' forums.   
_____________________________________  
  


**Tales From Pioneer City: Detecto Part 1 - The Lady Wore a Tight Dress**

  
  
  
This is the story of a man. Just one man. No women. Well, there were women, but not just yet. And there are other men **but** the story is not about them, they just happened to be in it. There are a thousand stories in the naked city... I REALLY wished I lived there, but I don't. I live in Pioneer City and this is my story.  
  
Who am I? I am Detecto. I'm a unique HUmar... Just like everyone else.  
What do I do? I detect. Great how things turn out eh?  
  
It was a dark and stormy night, the way all good stories start. I was at my desk wondering where my next meal was going to come from when SHE walked in. If looks could kill then this HUnewearl was a mass-murderer, with legs that didn't know how to quit. All the signs said: "Warning: Dangerous Curves Ahead."  
  
I wiped the drool away and turned on the charm.  
  
"So... What does a girl like you do for money?"  
  
She slapped me... Hard. Clearly I had struck a nerve so she struck one back.  
  
"Are you a hero Mr. Detecto?" She said in a voice so dripping with honey that it gave me diabetes.  
  
"It's just Detecto." I replied.  
  
"Are you a hero Just Detecto?"  
  
I thought about that for a moment as she leaned across the desk.  
  
"I need you."  
  
I could tell that she needed me, by the look in her eyes. Well actually I was staring at her cleavage, but you get the general idea.  
  
"There's a guy called Socko who needs to be stopped. He runs around stealing one sock from people."   
  
"That doesn't sound too bad."  
  
"After he has the sock he mashes them into a bloody pulp with a 500 pound sledgehammer."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Why are you the one bringing the case... To me?" I asked.  
  
She sauntered over to the door, my eyes bewitched by her hypnotic dance. She turned and spoke just before leaving.  
  
"Because he's my _husband_."  
  
  
  
**Next week : Detecto becomes aquainted with the staff at the Intensive Care Unit.**  
  



	8. Tales From Pioneer City: Part 2

**

Tales From Pioneer City: Detecto Part 2 - Date With Danger!

**  
  
  
This is a story of the big city. A big city divided into little cities. And a woman. Not a mere mortal woman, but a hot woman. A woman so hot that if my pants weren't made of asbestos they'd burst into flames. A woman so hot that the sun looks at her and says "Damn girl! You are HOT!"  
  
And she was all mine. But only one thing stood in the way to my happiness. Her husband. A sicko named Socko. Clearly she had come to me to get him out of the way. Perhaps to kill him... Or was it arrest him? The details were a bit hazy, she had left before giving me any.  
  
Still they didn't call me Detecto for nothing, it was my name.  
  
I hit the streets, pounding the pavement. Next time I would look both ways before crossing. My contacts came up with nothing, so I tried my glasses. It so happened that he liked to hang out at a dive called 'The Iron Bar'. A place so scummy that even lawyers weren't welcome. From there I followed the trail of pulpy bodies.  
  
Socko was a big man, but it would be more fair to say he was a **huge** man. I recognised his face from the steroid commercials on TV, he used to play the 'After' guy.  
  
"Hey buddy! Can I buy you a neck?" I played it cool.  
  
The veins on his forehead throbbed like he had marbles for blood and not blood for blood.  
  
"What for you mock Socko in dark dark night?"  
  
"Let's just say that I need you out of the way so I can score with your wife."  
  
He flexed and raised his hammer high. Even his muscles had muscles. It was time to break out the big guns. But I was a HUmar and we don't use guns. We use swords. It was time to break out the big swords. He charged. A few well placed hits and it was all over.  
  
-------  
  
I opened my eyes. It was august. Once they finish that spleen transplant I'm back on the case.  
  
  
  
**Next week in Part #3 : Detecto takes on the might of the L.A.W. (Legion of Amazing Women).**


	9. The Origin of Falz

**The Origin of Falz (Prelude to: Return of the Shadow King)**

  
  
  
Not what really happened, but still....  
  
_________________________________________________________________  
  
Imagine if you will a world. Something so incredible, so alien, so very different to any world that people of Coral have visited. This place would probably be a Hunter's dream, a place where survival of the fittest would be the mantra of every living thing there. I think that this sort of thing would require some perspective to get the message across.  
  
In the underground river linking the complex cave system below the Central dome to the Mining and Research Facility hidden in the mountains was a real monster. It was named 'De Rol Le' by scientists and it took two attempts by the Hunters Guild to kill it. The beast measured fourty-two metres in length and weighed twenty-three tonnes. Once its body was retrieved, me and my colleagues were able to get a good look at it and compare it to the data from Doctor Osto's research.  
  
The first thing we were shocked to discover was that this thing was only one year old! Cell analysis determined that growth rate was normal and that it was not native to the planet Ragol. Where did it come from and how did it get here? The answers to both are interlinked.  
  
Analysis of De Rol Le showed that it was asexual, namely it did not have 'true' reproductive organs. Instead, it used a series of tentacles to inject biological matter that Doctor Osto referred to as 'Parasite Cell D.' The cells would act like a virus, infecting cells of the host and transforming them into an eventual replica of the infector. It would seem that this method of propagation was ineffective here on Ragol. Though when I say ineffective that is not the entire story.  
  
Creatures here would mutate under the effects of this parasitic agent, quite often with unpredictable results. They had several things in common though. They would become phenomenally hostile, large increases in strength and other attributes and development of organic 'weapon-like' features. I'm sure that on its native world it would not have this problem or it would surely face extinction.  
  
Speaking of extinction, De Rol Le is not the worst that the seas of that terrible far away planet have seen. While De Rol Le is clearly carnivorous, it possess fearsome armour complete with spikes and bio-energy attacks. It would seem that even De Rol Le would have something to fear. What kind of monster would hunt that thing for food I wonder?  
  
The discovery of the spaceship and the translation of the artifacts from it complete the picture. Through my conversations with my counterpart in Xenoarcheology, Doctor Fora Hesapore, I think I've pieced together something close to the truth.  
  
Imagine if you will a world, populated by a great and powerful warrior race. One day from the sky came '_The Conqueror_' with his giant ship, they called him 'Falz'. War commenced and both sides suffered heavily losses. It was during this time that _The Conqueror_ became infected by a De Rol Le. Again because he was not a native of that planet, the results were different to what was expected.  
  
Falz underwent an extensive transformation. He was reputed to have psionic abilities and these were enhanced. He infected his entire army to allow them to benefit of the gift he had received. He had become '_The Corruptor_'. The tide of battle turned in his favour.  
  
The strongest of their warriors, '_Rika Go Poumn_' (Hunter of the Shadows), challenged and finally defeated this new and improved Falz, but there was a surprise in store. When Falz was defeated, his psionic abilities were such that instead of death, he transcended to the spiritual plane. There he remained until he could find a new physical host. He found one in the very warrior that had bested him.  
  
In this new form Falz became even more powerful and they now called him 'Dark Falz'. It then fell upon another to face this monster. It was '_Kriz Go Rika_' (Child of the Hunter) who successfully beat 'Dark Falz'. This time they took no chances and using their technology combined with that from Falz's ship they found a way to contain him.  
  
Falz and his army of mutants were sealed in the ship and launched deep into space. Falz's power meant it was possible that he could not be destroyed permanantly so the ship was instructed to land at a planet as far away as was possible. Automatons placed on board would carry out the concealment of the ship and seal it forever, Falz's army would be guardians to stop intruders from awakening their master. The automatons would place warnings around the ship so that no one would ever unleash this nightmare again.  
  
I guess they failed! History repeated itself with one of our greatest Hunters possessed and another just barely able to save us all. I have given the authorities my notes regarding these discoveries but all I get from them is silence. I dread to think what might happen now.  
  
I have one more thought. Although analysing the glyphs that that ancient race left scattered around the ship is just a hobby for me, I think Rico Tyrell made a few small errors in her translations. At the Time, she had assumed the Falz was the name of the entity and so had not translated it. I believe that the word 'Falz' would translate into 'Ruler' or 'King'. Also where she calls him 'Dark Falz', the word they used can be used to stand for 'dark' but it seems that it it can also be used for 'nightmare'. Their choice of words for the name of '_The Corruptor_' feels like more than just a colourful description, but then again, what do I know?  
  
  
_- Extracts from the journal of Chief Xenobiologist Kira Jovien_


	10. Requiem For Rico

**Requiem For Rico**  
  
_  
A wave of light washes us all.  
Stolen from me, those dearest.  
I run through the fields, all is silent.  
Trees hide the secret, the sins of the past.  
They cannot speak.  
  
A roar from below, flames from above.  
I draw my sword, my fight begun.  
Nature's hand tuns against me.  
Abominations by some dark deed, twisted by chaos.  
Surrendered to the river, carry me away.  
Deep into the womb of the earth.  
Far away from home.  
  
The plans of men laid bare.  
Their greed takes new forms, wrought of steel.  
The sleepless army awakens.  
I am their enemy.  
The servant becomes the master.  
  
The folly of men contained no longer.  
It spills into the light, it turns the mind.  
Monster children of the nightmare god.  
Death cannot hold it back, I must try.  
On my heart, the setting sun.  
I lay down my sword, my fight is done.  
_


	11. Babes In The Wood

This is something just for fun while I force myself to write. Hopefully you like it. If not.... Well, read all my other stories and see if there is anything you do like. I could always write you a story you do like.... ;)  
  
PS If for any reason this story offends you and you happen to be a hot female, PM me your phone number and we can discuss how sorry I truely am over dinner...  
  
**

Babes In The Wood

**  
  
"It's like, sooooo hot here!" Said Vapida, the HUnewearl as she fanned herself with a large leaf plucked from a nearby bush. Despite the overall skimpiness of her outfit, beads of sweat formed all over her smooth, firm body, each luscious curve accentuated by the glistening...  
  
"AHEM! Would you mind telling this story without descending into softporn?" Fumed Vapida irritatedly.  
  
**Sorry. I just thought that my readers might like to benefit from my descriptive prowess. They are mostly male you know.**  
  
"Could we PLEASE get back to the story?" Said Klooless the FOmarl, voice almost rising to a shriek.  
  
**Right. Okay.**  
  
"Line?" Asked Klooless.  
  
**Hmmm?**  
  
"My line? What's my next line?" Snapped Klooless.  
  
**Oh. "It is called a jungle..."**  
  
"Right, right. Well... It is called a jungle for a reason you know?" Said Klooless. Her formal FOrce robes undone at every available opening in order to keep the wearer as cool as possible.  
  
"Yah." Said Vacua the RAmarl, between swigs from a bottle of chilled mineral water.  
  
Vapida frowned at what Klooless had said, but could not find any flaws in the logic. The three intrepid explorers had volunteered to explore the area surrounding the central dome at the request of Alicia. They had assured the client that it was not necessary for her to accompany them, they were experienced Hunters after all. But that was 70 Beats ago, since then they had wandered around in circles unsure if they had reached their destination yet, Vapida and Klooless complaining endlessly about the heat, all three of them complaining about their tired feet. **I of course suggested they try doing the quest in bikinis but they were strangely unreceptive to that idea.**  
  
Vapida glanced heavenwardly and scowled briefly before slumping against a nearby rockface, sighing as loudly as she could.  
  
"Klooless, you're a FOrce. Can't you magic up something? Like an icecream? And why has it stopped raining?" She yelled at the skies.  
  
"Magic... Don't know about an icecream, but watch this..." Said Klooless.  
  
Her face became a mask of concentration as she held out a hand palm forward, focusing with all her might. A red glow became evident before a small ball of fire materialised there. The ball of fire shot off and impacted against the trunk of a tree leaving a black scorch-mark.  
  
"Wow. That is pretty cool!" Said Vapida.  
  
"Yah." Agreed Vacua.  
  
"Can you do thing else?"  
  
"Well apparantly, there is a spell that allows you to harness the power of lightning but I thought 'Yeah right!' Hair and electricity do not mix. I spend enough Meseta on my stylist as it is. It's like, I'm out here hunting just to keep him in hovercars."  
  
"Crap!" Exclaimed Vapida. "I think someone is coming. Quick, pretend to be intelligent."  
  
The three of them began to fasten up any opened items of clothing, covering up their exquisite bodies, depriving the world a glimpse of...  
  
"A H E M !" Went all three in unison.  
  
**Oops. Forgot.** Readied, they adopted their best 'Charlie's Angels' pose and waited. Through a gap in the brush emerged a familiar sight.  
  
"Hello ladies. In need of company?" Said Ash the HUmar.  
  
"Why Ash, I didn't know you were allowed to go out without your mommy now." Said Vapida sweetly.  
  
"Yah." Said Vacua.  
  
"Hey!" Protested Ash, face turning slightly red. "If you must know, my mom hasn't needed to accompany me all week. So there!"  
  
Vapida was about to unleash her next stinging barb of wit when a loud crash at the opposite end of the clearing caught their attention.  
  
"Wha-wha-wha-what the heck is that?" Stammered Ash nervously.  
  
"That my dear is what is referred to as _Ursa Megaplacidus Minor_..." Said Vapida.  
  
"More commonly known as a Hildebear." Interjected Klooless.  
  
"Yah."  
  
"Well whatever it is, I'll kill it. Stand back ladies." Said Ash holding out his Twin Saber horizontally and activating it in a way that would make Darth Maul proud.  
  
"Oh puh-lease! Mr Big-shot-orange-jumpsuit-wearing-HUnter-boy going to rescue the poor defenseless damsels from the big meanie Hildebear?" Said Vapida in her best mocking voice.  
  
"Yeah, it's not like we supposed to be studying them to see why they're attacking people instead of making the species extinct." Added Klooless.  
  
"Yah." Added Vacua.  
  
The Hildebear thumped its chest with its powerful arms before beginning to lumber in the direction of the quartet.  
  
"Umm, it's coming right for us." Squealed Ash.  
  
"Well then it should be no problem for a big, strong HUnter such as yourself to disable it with a blow to the Carotid Plexus nerve."  
  
Ash looked at Vapida as if she had just said something to him in Latin, which she kind of had. Vapida rolled her eyes in exasperation.  
  
"Here." She indicated a spot on her elegant neck with a finger. "Hit it here and it falls over. Got it?"  
  
"Yah." Said Vacua.  
  
"Right. I think I've got it." Said Ash stepping towards the approaching Hildebear.  
  
"I hope you're not doing to use that thing?" Said Klooless pointing at Ash's Twin Saber.  
  
"I-"  
  
"Use this."  
  
Klooless handed Ash her Club and Ash stared at it like it was the most unusual thing he had ever seen in his whole life.  
  
"Ahem!"  
  
**What did I do now?**  
  
"Not you." Said Vapida. "I was alerting Ash to the fact that the Hildebear had arrived."  
  
Ash was infact very aware that the Hildebear had arrived by the '_total eclipse of the sun trick'_ it performed with its massive, muscular body, glistening with...  
  
"AHEM!"  
  
**Whoops! Never mind.**  
  
With one swing Ash brought the rounded end of the club down upon the neck of the Kildebear in precisely the spot the Vapida had indicated. The Hildebear froze, it's eyes rolled up in its head and it crashed to the ground with a groan. Sensing his opportunity, Ash raised his Twin Saber high above its head.  
  
"You just don't get it yet, do you?" Said Klooless, hands on her child-bearing hips, foot tapping with impatience.  
  
Ash hesitated mid-strike before lowering his weapon and looking sheepish.  
  
"But I thought..."  
  
"Well, you thought wrong." Interrupted Klooless. "I think it's best that you leave before you cause any more trouble."  
  
"Yes ma'am." Said Ash dejectedly as he walked off in the direction he had come.  
  
"Aren't you forgetting something?" Ask Klooless pointing at Ash's right hand.  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
Ash handed back the club and left, his face flush as he felt the eyes of the three women drilling into his back. They waited till he had left before speaking again.  
  
"It's sooooooo hot!" Said Vapida, undoing the straining buttons that kept her already revealing top together.  
  
"Ugh! Did you see what he was wearing? I mean orange. That is so last season." Said Klooless off-handedly.  
  
"Yah."  
  



End file.
